Maybe I don't wanna go
by zuvalupa
Summary: One moment can change your life. In Draco Malfoy's case, it is no different. Slight DG Oneshot.


**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

The lyrics that are used come from _Boxcar Racer_, the song being called _Letters To God._ The lyrics are in italics. /text/ indicates a memory.

* * *

**Maybe I don't wanna go**

_Caught off guard, all worked up  
The air is as dark and cold as night_

Narcissa stared at her son. Pride mingling with a mixture of relief and fear. Her son, Draco Malfoy, was looking at her with a look of utter confusion and panic. He loved her dearly, always trying to please her.

Her heart started to beat faster, finally realizing what her son was actually telling her. What would he do now? What could she do now?

_Let me go, I'm not done  
I swear I'll take just 1 life time_

"Mother, will you help me?" her son pleaded. She looked into his eyes, the one part of his body that could betray what he felt. In them, she saw alarm, uncertainty and most importantly, love, a love that hadn't been there before.

"Of course, Draco," was her very brief reply. No more words were needed.

_And I, I won't lie, I won't sin  
Maybe I don't wanna go_

Lying in his bed at night, thoughts ran through his head, Draco could not shake the feeling of dread. What would happen to him? Could his mother really help him? He hoped so. He was scared, and not ashamed to admit it.

_Can't you wait, maybe I don't wanna go_

He wasn't ready for this. He never would be.

_I should've asked, I could've helped,  
At least a fucking thousand times before_

Narcissa stood in front of a brown door. She lifted her hand to knock, but before her hand even touched the wooden door, it opened and she came face to face with Severus Snape. He bid her inside and offered her a seat as well as tea. She took a seat, but declined the tea.

Narcissa was pale, paler than she normally would be. She looked at Severus, the tears in her eyes threatening to fall. She tried to explain what was wrong, but found that for once, it was difficult to say what she wanted, what she needed. She lowered her gaze so as not to alert him to her weeping.

Severus knelt down next to her and put a reassuring hand over hers, prompting her to slowly release the important information that she had locked within her.

Immediately feeling better, she looked up at him again, her eyes tainted with hope.

It was then that she noticed a shadow lurking in the corner of his living room.

She spotted the red hair. A Weasley. Arthur Weasley.

_Will this offer, get me in, or does this prove that they gave more_

At first, she was disgusted. How could Severus Snape be associating with a Weasley? But of course she wasn't at Severus' house. She went to Number 12 Grimmauld Place, where the Order of the Phoenix had its headquarters. The family home of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Her home; a place she felt safe in, and in turn, the knowledge that she could confide in those residing here.

Arthur came up to her and assured her all the help she needed. She wouldn't be turned away.

_And I, I won't lie, I won't sin, maybe I don't wanna go  
Can't you wait, maybe I don't wanna go_

Draco thoughts were running at an extremely fast pace through his head. He tried to sort them out, but the memory of two life-changing events stuck out clearly to him. The cause of his current predicament.

/"Draco?"

"Yes?"

"Are you really going to do what your father wishes of you?" Ginny Weasley asked him, worry evident in her voice.

Although she hadn't mentioned it, he knew what she was implying. One simple question. But it changed everything./

/"I don't know what to do, Ginny. If I don't accept my future, then there will be no future for me to speak of. If I decline, he'll find out why I did so. He would destroy everything that I care about," he told her trying to explain everything, cursing himself for his show of "weakness".

Ginny looked up at him. "I will not lose you, Draco. You can do it. We can get help! Dumbledore will help you! And how do you know that your father will react the way you think he will? What about your mother, Draco, does she know how you feel?" A tear slipped out from her eye. She was trying to help. She would help, in any way possible. She wouldn't leave him, he needed all the help he could get.

"I will help you."/

_And I, I won't lie, I won't sin,  
Maybe I don't wanna go, can't you wait_

"Father, I- I can't"

Lucius took a moment to look at his son. Something had changed. He couldn't place it though. "You can't, or you won't?"

This was what he had feared. What he knew would happen. Of course his father wouldn't understand. His father would reject him and force him to do as he was told. He tried to speak, but the lump in his throat prevented this.

"Draco?" Lucius enquired.

_Maybe I don't wanna go, and I, I wont lie, I won't sin,  
Maybe I don't wanna go, can't you wait, maybe I don't wanna go_

Regaining his ability to speak, Draco replied. "Both."

Something in Lucius' appearance changed, it appeared as if he had been burdened with something so heavy that he could barely hold it up.

"I'm proud of you, Son," was all that he uttered before leaving Malfoy Manor.

Narcissa stepped into the room and strode over to him and embraced him.

She spoke quietly to him, but with great haste. Members from the Order would be arriving shortly, he needed to get everything he considered necessary. He couldn't come back to Malfoy Manor, not before the War was finished. Not before the Dark Lord had lost interest in having the Malfoy heir be a Death Eater.

He won't have to be Death Eater. He would be safe where he was going. The Weasley's would see to that. He would have someone to accompany him, a girl named Ginevra Weasley.

"Thank you, Mother," he told her as he tightened his arms around her.

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A/N: Some of my other fanfics will be updated soon, hopefully within the next few days. I apologize for not updating them sooner! 

I hope you enjoyed reading this, I've been thinking about this for days! A review would be appreciated! Constructive criticism is always welcome!


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